With a mission to help bring awareness to domestic violence and a heart to help its survivors comes a passionate advocate, Annie Sanders. Sanders has a personal story to share as a survivor of domestic violence, having experienced the immense challenges and impacts firsthand.
     “I am inspired to make a difference in the lives of others who have gone through similar struggles,” said Sanders.

     In efforts to do this, Sanders organized the “2nd Annual Pumps, Brunch & Bourbon” fundraising event on Saturday, July 15, 2023, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m., at Chandeleur Island Brewing Company in Gulfport. The event benefits her nonprofit, Safe Haven for Domestic Violence, with motivations to raise awareness, empower survivors, raise financial support, promote community healing, and celebrate resilience.

     “By raising awareness, providing support, and fostering community, this event strives to bring about positive change in the lives of survivors and contribute to eradicating domestic violence.”

Annie Sanders, Founder, Director/CEO, Safe Haven for Domestic Violence

     October is National Domestic Violence Awareness Month. In Mississippi, and across the United States, incidents of domestic violence – also known as intimate partner violence – are alarming and continually increasing.

     Sanders, a Gulfport resident, met her abuser when she was a teenager and when teen dating violence wasn’t really taught.
     “You are taught about things like drugs, alcohol, gun violence, and drunk driving…things like that, but teen dating violence is not one of those in itself,” Sanders said. “Aside from it just being teenagers, dating violence is not normally talked about in a school setting or amongst peers.”
     At the age of 17, Sanders began dating her daughter’s dad, who was in the Navy at the time. They were married when Sanders was just a couple of months shy of her 19th birthday, and then they moved to Italy. When they made it to Italy, she encountered her first physical interaction with her abuser.
     “It was basically the isolation,” said Sanders. “The majority of abusers try to isolate you from family and friends and from any help or resources you could potentially get.”

     Although that was the first time Sanders was physically harmed, she didn’t realize the psychological harm she was also enduring. Sanders was very young when she met her abuser in high school and then dated in college.
     “I didn’t realize the behavior he was exhibiting wasn’t because he cared or wanted to look out for me, but it was control. It was power and control. So, I wasn’t aware of what was being done or what was going on until essentially it was too late being isolated in a whole other country,” Sanders said.
     After being married for ten years, Sanders broke out of her abusive relationship with an escape plan. She and her daughter fled to a local shelter, and her healing began. Sanders became a survivor, transitioning and getting back on her feet again. And today, she lives her life freely, without being controlled and feeling like she can’t make decisions. Sanders said, “When someone is abused, even something as simple as making a decision can be a daunting task for them.”
     Now as a survivor who wants to help others who are victims of domestic violence, Sanders founded Safe Haven Center for Domestic Violence and is director and CEO.
     “Fundraising is important so that our services can be provided on an as-needed basis whenever the help is needed. I don’t ever want to turn anybody away due to funding,” said Sanders.
     This is where events like “Pumps, Brunch, & Bourbon” come in. While the annual event started as just “Pumps and Brunch,” the theme changed this year to include men so everyone can be included.
     “Our services are for everyone, not just women,” said Sanders.

     At the fundraiser, supporters gathered wearing their favorite pumps for brunch and bottomless mimosas. LaWanda Jones, Gulfport, greeted guests with a smile as she gave out Swag Bags and raffle tickets. The fundraiser also included a silent auction. A delicious menu served up shrimp and grits, also known as “Grit Girl Grits,” fried pickled okra, grilled veggies, chicken and waffles, bread and butter with an assortment of butter, fresh fruits, Gouda pimento cheese, jalapeno peppers, and smoked deviled eggs. Stories were shared by several women who are also survivors of domestic violence and sexual assault.

     One survivor, Amy Stampley, Wiggins, shared her story of how she wore her wedding shoes to the brunch, which now have a new purpose. “I wore these shoes on my wedding day. My husband and I were married in July 2018, and I suffered a concussion in October 2019. The abuse led to help raise awareness.” 
     Guest Kayla Hinton, Hattiesburg, said, “This is definitely something I’d like to continue to be involved in year to year. I would love to find out how to be more involved.” It was Hinton’s first time attending the fundraiser, and she said it was very impactful for her.

     Guest Carolina Matos, Biloxi, said, “This is a beautiful event for a great cause.”
     Guest Brianna Patty, Pascagoula, attended the event to show her support of Safe Haven for Domestic Violence and others, like her, who are survivors of domestic violence. “Recently, being a domestic violence victim pushed me to help others more. Most women don’t speak out and don’t press charges or stick with it, but they go back. And I couldn’t go back after everything that was done to me. I knew I had to protect myself and my child. There was a firearm involved, and knowing what I know now, that man could have killed me,” Patty said. “Pretty much what they are doing, helping people and helping their kids as well, means I will support it at all costs, because there are so many who can do it, but they choose not to.”
     The event’s keynote guest speaker was author, educator, and survivor, Dawn Schiller, from Los Angeles, Calif. Schiller is the author of “The Road Through Wonderland: Surviving John Holmes,” which tells about her survival of the Wonderland Avenue murders through Los Angeles. “Annie and I were introduced pre-pandemic through a mutual friend I made from Springfield, I believe when I spoke on anti-violence and anti-trafficking,” said Schiller. “Annie and I made plans for me to speak as she is also a survivor. I really wanted to do a fundraiser event to help bring awareness and bring resources here and into Biloxi.

     “I am here to really talk about how important resources are for victims or survivors of violence, such as domestic violence, sexual assault, and human trafficking-I’ve experienced it all, and in the beginning, I had nothing, and I fell right back into those violent worlds until finally somebody reached out and helped me. Somebody wasn’t afraid to say, ‘You deserve the help.’ I feel we need to have more people like that here and in all communities. We need to gather together, collaborate, and partner together, and that is what Annie Sanders is doing. That is why I am here.”
     Schiller is the training director for the Coalition to Abolish Slavery and Trafficking’s “Resilient Voices” in Los Angeles, a violence and human trafficking expert consultant with the U.S. Department of Justice Office for Victims of Crime, the Department of Health & Human Services Office on Trafficking in Persons, and the U.S. Department of State’s Office to Monitor and Combat Trafficking in Persons, and the Department of Children and Families out of Washington, D.C. “I also do private consulting and have been for a lot of years, and a lot of that has got to do with getting through my abuse and finally coming to terms and getting a lot of healing and a lot of education around the issue.”
     Schiller’s story is about surviving an infamous person in Los Angeles who was responsible for what has been dubbed “The Wonderland Murders” and how she ended up being dragged through that and then how she escaped with the help of strangers and turned him into the police. “My journey also includes years and years of hardship before I was able to find help. So that is why resources are so important to me, because they didn’t exist when I was separated from my abuser.
     “What happened is I ended up getting abused over and over again by different people and addicted to drugs and alcohol, but I eventually found my way out with the help of another stranger. That is what prompted me to write my book and my story. And I wrote my book after Hollywood really made it a point to film the version of my story through my abuser’s eyes, and that didn’t sit well with me.”

     In 2017, Sanders started her nonprofit, Safe Haven for Domestic Violence, which provides emergency shelter and crisis intervention services 24/7 to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault, as well as their children. The mission of Safe Haven Center for Domestic Violence is to spread its message of hope and compassion. Through advocacy and outreach, the Center’s team works tirelessly each day to contribute their part to assist all victims to become rehabilitated and to heal from their abusive situations. To date, Safe Haven has serviced over 60 clients and their families.
     Domestic violence is defined as violent or aggressive behavior within the home, typically involving the violent abuse of a spouse or partner. According to legaldictionary.net, domestic violence refers to abusive behavior in any personal relationship that allows one partner to intimidate or gain power and control over the other. This is often thought to occur between married spouses or in other intimate relationships but refers to any family relationship or persons living in the same home. Domestic violence includes physical, sexual, psychological, and emotional abuse and threats of violence or economic control. These are behaviors intended to intimidate, frighten, terrorize, humiliate, manipulate, coerce, blame, or injure someone.
     Statistics show that 1 in 4 women and 1 in 7 men have been victims of severe physical violence by an intimate partner. According to the National Intimate Partner and Sexual Violence Survey (NISVS), an ongoing survey that collects national- and state-level data on domestic violence in the United States, (NISVS, 2010) around 48% of both men and women have experienced psychological aggression by an intimate partner. An estimated 36.2 million women have been slapped, pushed, or shoved by an intimate partner at some point; 75% of intimate partner violence victims 18 and 49 years of age reported multiple abuse incidents by the same perpetrator; 81% of intimate partner victims report significant long-term impacts of abuse, including Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) symptoms and physical injuries. With statistics like this, experts agree that awareness of domestic violence as well as where to get help if you are involved in a domestically violent relationship are equally important.

     Jessica and Anthony Williams, Gulfport, were guests of the “Pumps, Brunch & Bourbon” fundraising event and were doing a promotional piece for their company, AJ Williams Media, which will also help bring awareness to Sanders’ vision and the mission of Safe Haven Center for Domestic Violence. “It is good to have a place where women feel safe and can escape,” said Anthony Williams
     The couple is friends with Sanders and attended the event to also show their support for Sanders’ efforts to bring awareness to domestic violence. “We are here because Annie invited us here, and we love being a part of a place that will make women feel safe and give them a way to escape,” continued Anthony. “One thing is when anybody is in a situation and they feel like they can’t escape, that place tends to make them not even try. So having a place out there where that they can see they can reach out to will help many people.”

     Jessica Williams added, “Annie has a testimony and is fulfilling her purpose behind her pain. In our company, it’s about telling someone’s story or a company’s story and getting their message out. So, this is partnering with Annie as a person but also with Safe Haven and helping women feel safe. We are honored to be here.”
     Sanders said, “Overall, the Second Annual Pumps, Brunch and Bourbon fundraiser was a huge success in all aspects. We had a lot of support, and tickets were sold out. Chandeleur Island Brewing Company is an amazing partner, and the staff was amazing. My guest speaker, Dawn Schiller, was awesome. I love her!
     “We have to work together in this community.”
     Plans for future fundraisers and events are underway to allow community patrons and partners a chance to show their support for the cause. To reach out to Safe Haven Center for Domestic Violence, call 228-205-4333. For more information about its mission, visit the Center’s Web site at www.safehavencenterfordv.org.

On the cover: Annie Sanders, Director/CEO of Safe Haven Center for Domestic Violence, with her daughter, Dora Kennedy, during this year’s Second Annual Pumps, Brunch and Bourbon fundraiser benefitting the Center and its mission to spread a message of hope and compassion to victims of domestic violence and sexual assault.

Ashley Prima

Author, Public Speaker, Multimedia Journalist, Publisher, Writing Consultant, Blogger, and Podcast Host.